christmas can never start soon enough

Oh man oh man, I love fall. Partly because as soon as it starts getting cooler, the Halloween candy  starts coming out. And when I see that I can't help but think, "Oh man, it's almost Halloween, that means it's almost Thanksgiving, that means it's almost Christmas! Woo hoo!" Then Christmas music starts playing in my head (and sometimes on my stereo). I start wanting to buy tons of fun new Christmas decorations, and I just feel all warm and fuzzy. Bust out the sweaters, Orem! Santa Claus is comin' to town!

There are definitely people who see things my way, and for them I am so Hoover Dam grateful, but what I don't get is how people can NOT see things this way. How can you seriously NOT start getting excited for Christmas when it starts getting cooler? How can you think I should NOT listen to Christmas music? And why in the crap are some people so dead set on not mentioning the birth of our Savior until they've fully enjoyed their ugly brown and orange turkeys and gourd decorations? I'm sorry, but there is no way I will ever bother with those.

And some people seem to think that by being so excited for Christmas I am not giving Thanksgiving it's just desserts. Let me put this to rest. I love Thanksgiving. It is definitely a wonderful holiday historically, theologically, and familially, but I'm sorry, I will never love the dried leaves and pilgrim "decorations." I think they are dorky and I don't like the color orange in any season (on the trees on a fall day is the only exception). Instead, I would love to put out Christmas decorations early. Have lots of rich greens and reds, or silvers and whites out and making all things festive and lovely. I'll have a "Thankful Jar" for the month of November where my kids can add marbles each day as they think of things to be grateful for, and I'll be grateful everyday for the beauty of the season, for Thanksgiving AND Christmas.

The thing is, that it's not really the day, Christmas, that I get all excited about. I don't really care about presents (half the time I wish people wouldn't give me anything at all), or all the sweets that are around to tempt you, or the crazy shoppers. I just really love the spirit of the season. The excitement, the forebearance everyone shows, the kindness and love that becomes more normal and obvious. I love all those feelings that just sort of hang on the air like the smell of cinnamon rolls and wasil. That's what gets me all excited when the weather turns cold. That's what makes me get excited for Christmas when I see Halloween candy out. That's why I think starting Christmas early can only enhance Thanksgiving by creating more open and thankful hearts. That is why I'm going to go turn on the Glee Christmas album and carol my little heart out...and be blissful for the next three months instead of only three weeks...and eat turkey with my family with gusto...and cut out snowflakes and be glad to be alive...and only wish that Thanksgiving were in August instead of November. August needs a holiday, and then we could start Christmas in September.

dare I say it? SCHOOL!

So, I'm going back to school. I've threatened to do it for years, but I finally found my impetus...free tuition and a school five minutes away. The tentative plan is to pursue the MBA at UVU, but for now I need to do some prerequisites. This morning I went to my first accounting class ever and I am telling you, even if I don't get to get another whole degree, I think I'm gonna be really glad to learn what I will be learning now. I am really excited, just help me by praying that I can stay organized enough to keep on top of it all. Yay! Fun!

my whole life

Today I was talking to my adorable and ever engaging friend Sharon, and I got to articulate something that has been formulating for a while. I was thinking and realizing, and feeling so gratified at the life I have in front of me. A lot of little things have led to this: knowing I want to seriously learn how to play the piano at some point, realistically thinking about getting a second degree, watching my parents in their totally awesome, worth-while activity strewn retirement. It's like, I see all the years I have ahead of me and I am so so excited about them. I never thought I would have these exact feelings at this exact time, like I am starting to understand what women mean when they say they loved their 30's more than their 20's or their 40's more than their 30's. I've lived long enough to know that two years is not that long and I have decades of active, fulfilled life in which to reap harvest from things I work on for two years...or more.

I mean, like Sharon said, to start a four year degree when you are 18 seems like forever. However, at 32 I now know that I could take on the piano and be at it for 10 to 15 years. By the time I was good I might be 42 or 47, but I'd still have 30 or 40 years to enjoy and share that skill! Wow, that is totally worth it, and such a freeing assumption.

I don't know if I am correctly communicating this fullness of heart that I have, it's a combination of gratitude, wonder, and healthy anticipation that I just never imagined I would feel at this age of my life. When I was 15 I certainly never imagined how broad and welcoming my life would feel when I was in my *gasp* 30's. But here I am, and that's exactly how it feels, and I wish every younger person could catch a glimpse of that feeling and be comforted, but I know they probably won't. I think this is just one of those feelings that you are only allowed to understand once you have worked some years, been dedicated in some way, then taken some time to look back and appreciate. After that I'd think you couldn't help but look forward, and marvel.

haven't moved, just been taking up a second residence

Man, I can't believe it's been so long since I've written on this post. I know it's cause I've been focusing so much on my new blog, imabuildher.wordpress.com, but today I found I was missing this. Just this forum in which I get to take notes on life, where I am and how I am feeling about it. I think I like it best because it means I am sharing my life and myself with people I care about. I might not be able to sit around the table and chat every night, but I can certainly plop myself down and type out what's on my heart/mind lately. So hold on tight...I'm back.