dare I say it? SCHOOL!

So, I'm going back to school. I've threatened to do it for years, but I finally found my impetus...free tuition and a school five minutes away. The tentative plan is to pursue the MBA at UVU, but for now I need to do some prerequisites. This morning I went to my first accounting class ever and I am telling you, even if I don't get to get another whole degree, I think I'm gonna be really glad to learn what I will be learning now. I am really excited, just help me by praying that I can stay organized enough to keep on top of it all. Yay! Fun!

my whole life

Today I was talking to my adorable and ever engaging friend Sharon, and I got to articulate something that has been formulating for a while. I was thinking and realizing, and feeling so gratified at the life I have in front of me. A lot of little things have led to this: knowing I want to seriously learn how to play the piano at some point, realistically thinking about getting a second degree, watching my parents in their totally awesome, worth-while activity strewn retirement. It's like, I see all the years I have ahead of me and I am so so excited about them. I never thought I would have these exact feelings at this exact time, like I am starting to understand what women mean when they say they loved their 30's more than their 20's or their 40's more than their 30's. I've lived long enough to know that two years is not that long and I have decades of active, fulfilled life in which to reap harvest from things I work on for two years...or more.

I mean, like Sharon said, to start a four year degree when you are 18 seems like forever. However, at 32 I now know that I could take on the piano and be at it for 10 to 15 years. By the time I was good I might be 42 or 47, but I'd still have 30 or 40 years to enjoy and share that skill! Wow, that is totally worth it, and such a freeing assumption.

I don't know if I am correctly communicating this fullness of heart that I have, it's a combination of gratitude, wonder, and healthy anticipation that I just never imagined I would feel at this age of my life. When I was 15 I certainly never imagined how broad and welcoming my life would feel when I was in my *gasp* 30's. But here I am, and that's exactly how it feels, and I wish every younger person could catch a glimpse of that feeling and be comforted, but I know they probably won't. I think this is just one of those feelings that you are only allowed to understand once you have worked some years, been dedicated in some way, then taken some time to look back and appreciate. After that I'd think you couldn't help but look forward, and marvel.

haven't moved, just been taking up a second residence

Man, I can't believe it's been so long since I've written on this post. I know it's cause I've been focusing so much on my new blog, imabuildher.wordpress.com, but today I found I was missing this. Just this forum in which I get to take notes on life, where I am and how I am feeling about it. I think I like it best because it means I am sharing my life and myself with people I care about. I might not be able to sit around the table and chat every night, but I can certainly plop myself down and type out what's on my heart/mind lately. So hold on tight...I'm back.